


The Scoobies' Group Chat

by kissthelibrarian



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, This is a group chat fic, set in a modern au I guess where Buffy's still the Slayer but Spike is now human
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 19:11:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14921232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissthelibrarian/pseuds/kissthelibrarian
Summary: Buffy makes a group chat. Hijinks ensue.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> so I saw that there were no buffy gc fanfictions so I went hmm  
> imma make one

_buffytheslayer_ added _gaywitch_ , _underyourspell_ , _soulfulspike_ , _dawniekey_ , _kissthelibrarian_ , _xanman_ and _notanexdemon_ to the chat! 

 SCOOBIES

  
buffytheslayer: so this is basically a place where we can all talk without being in the same room

gaywitch: but.. most of us are in the same room.

kissthelibrarian: Except me. And others, I suspect. Buffy, I only just figured out how to use this tiny idiot box. Now this? 

buffytheslayer: yep

soulfulspike: i'm a tad confused, luv

xanman: wow u used proper grammar that's a surprise

dawniekey: leave him alone, xander. sheesh are you ever gonna like him?

xanman: nah.

soulfulspike: um.. thanks nibblet. so why do we need this again?

underyourspell: yeah, we're all literally sitting in your living room besides giles, xander and anya

notanexdemon: the phone was making noise!! that usually means for me to go to the phone. i'm here now!!

xanman: hey an!

notanexdemon: hey! this makes no sense. we are sitting next to each other. we should just talk.

xanman: an, we've talked about this already. this chat is just for emergencies or laziness.

notanexdemon: so you're too lazy to talk to me? and how are we gonna know the difference??

buffytheslayer: okay ENOUGH

soulfulspike: i agree with blondie

xanman: oh of course you do

soulfulspike: sod off it's just because she's right

kissthelibrarian: *sips tea*

xanman: even if she was wrong you'd say she was right!!

soulfulspike: piss OFF you whelp!!

buffytheslayer: OKAY CUT IT OUT. first off: i'm dating spike now! so shut up, xander!

xanman: >:(

soulfulspike: ;~)

buffytheslayer: and spike, you really don't sound intimidating over text.

soulfulspike: hey! i'm still the big bad! i'm scary as hell!

buffytheslayer: you're literally smelling my hair right now

gaywitch: and you aren't even a vampire anymore

soulfulspike: well yeah but. i'm still strong! I could take you ponces out in a heartbeat!

xanman: i may have one eye but i can still see that you're a heckin liar

underyourspell: uhh did xander just say heckin??

dawniekey: i think he did. ew.

xanman: guys this is bullying

gaywitch: cyber bullying, actually.

kissthelibrarian: What the blithering hell did you just say?

gaywitch: cyber bullying. like bullying but on the internet.

kissthelibrarian: dear lord. the earth is extremely doomed.

dawniekey: i bet he's cleaning his glasses right now.

buffytheslayer: yeah and probably sighing at all of us

soulfulspike: some things never change

~~~~~~~

dawniekey: hey we should play a game!!

underyourspell: like what?

dawniekey: truth or dare? or just the truths, seeing as we're on phones

soulfulspike: oh hell no

notanexdemon: oh hell yeah!! i love games!! do we win money?

buffytheslayer: NO. MONEY.

kissthelibrarian: oh lord. okay.

dawniekey: okay. who here isn't straight?

gaywitch: well I'm obviously gay

underyourspell: yeah i'm a lesbian

xanman: i'm straight

kissthelibrarian: i'm bisexual 

buffytheslayer: oh my god I never knew that!!

soulfulspike: well obviously

gaywitch: yeah obviously. you definitely had sexual tension with Ethan Rayne

kissthelibrarian: my lips are sealed.

notanexdemon: i take the fifth!

underyourspell: what?

notanexdemon: what??

buffytheslayer: i'm straight. i mean i've had gay thoughts like.. once.. but that's it.

soulfulspike: to be honest i've never really cared. i'm mostly attracted to girls but i have shagged a bloke or two

gaywitch: i mean i never thought i'd say it but.. great philosophy, spike?!

buffytheslayer: wow okay then

soulfulspike: and if you ever wanted a threesome with a girl, buffy, i wouldn't say no

buffytheslayer: wow back to being a pig again

dawniekey: moving on!! who here has killed a person?

gaywitch: i have..

underyourspell: i haven't.

buffytheslayer: i haven't either!!

xanman: yeah i haven't

notanexdemon: i've killed many people!!

soulfulspike: i used to be a bloody vampire. i obviously have

kissthelibrarian: I might've. Okay, I have.

buffytheslayer: uh what??

soulfulspike: you don't wanna know.

gaywitch: remember ben? and how he was glory?

buffytheslayer: you killed him??

kissthelibrarian: Buffy, I apologise.

buffytheslayer: no, don't! I mean, yeah, it's kinda bad, but you killed a GOD, Giles! thanks, i guess!

kissthelibrarian: oh thank the lord.

soulfulspike: not bad, watcher

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

  _buffytheslayer_ added _fivebyfive, andrewthejedi_ and _imnotbroody_ to the chat!

xanman: okay, i'm fine with faith being here.

notanexdemon: well obviously you are. she gave you orgasms!

fivebyfive: one.

xanman: and i guess i don't mind andrew in this chat.

soulfulspike: i do!

andrewthejedi: hey spike <3

soulfulspike: oh god

xanman: because that happens. but ANGEL?? captain forehead?? broody mcbroody face?

imnotbroody: i'm NOT broody

buffytheslayer: yes you are

soulfulspike: YOU TELL THE POUFTER, BUFFY

imnotbroody: hey wow 'let's all attack angel' yeah great idea

soulfulspike: no that's actually a good idea

imnotbroody: shut up spike

buffytheslayer: yeah shut up spike

soulfulspike: yeah, take his side!! hey I knew it i always knew it!! you still fancy tall dark and forehead, don't you??

buffytheslayer: no. and hey I'm gonna stop you there because you're literally pacing angrily while typing right now

imnotbroody: you don't even still have a crush on me a little bit??

buffytheslayer: SHUT UP ANGEL. and no. you just made spike get out of his seat and start pacing again. he's now yelling "HE BETTER LEAVE MY GIRL ALONE!"

gaywitch: *gets popcorn*

kissthelibrarian: oh dear I don't have any tea to sip

dawniekey: wtf?? GILES doesn't have any tea??

buffytheslayer: dawn, language!

dawniekey: english!

buffytheslayer: no!! don't say wtf!

dawniekey: I'M 17

kissthelibrarian: i will admit that buffy was not swearing at your age. she still rarely does now.

soulfulspike: not bloody likely. she swears constantly

imnotbroody: oh yeah of course you know that. bastard.

buffytheslayer: ANGEL. SHUT UP.

buffytheslayer removed imnotbroody from the chat

soulfulspike: thank god

andrewthejedi: lmao beef 

soulfulspike removed andrewthejedi from the chat

kissthelibrarian: for once, i'm actually thanking spike

soulfulspike: anytime, rupert

kissthelibrarian: and i'm back to hating you

soulfulspike: wtf that's literally your first name

kissthelibrarian: yes, but I hate it when you say it.

fivebyfive: jfc can u losers stop

soulfulspike: hey i am not a loser

fivebyfive: well obviously i don't think you are. but old mr crusty? he definitely is.

kissthelibrarian: excuse me??

buffytheslayer: EXCUSE ME??

fivebyfive: what?

kissthelibrarian: old mr crusty??

buffytheslayer: MY BOYFRIEND IS A LOSER STOP SUCKING UP TO HIM YOU HOE-BAG

fivebyfive: wow, b

soulfulspike: i'm not sure whether to be flattered or annoyed

gaywitch: if only andrew were here to witness this

dawniekey: i'm totally screenshotting this and sending it to him

underyourspell: omg no

xanman: ok but why is she even defending bleach boy

notanexdemon: xander, just shut up

~~~~

dawniekey: lol guys remember riley

soulfulspike: captain cardboard? i hated that bastard

buffytheslayer: just because he was my boyfriend and you were jealous

soulfulspike: well yeah but. i woulda hated him anyway

dawniekey: well I just saw him in an advert in a magazine shirtless

notanexdemon: ooo can I see??

fivebyfive: yeah apparently he had a hot body

soulfulspike: THIS IS PRICELESS I'M TELLING ANGEL

buffytheslayer: DO NOT- oh god he's on the floor crying with laughter on the phone to angel. angel's laughing too.

kissthelibrarian: i would use one of those "laughing emoticon" things, but sadly, i do not know how.

gaywitch: HAHAHA

underyourspell: omg

dawniekey: i'm gonna send it to andrew

buffytheslayer: oh god he'll get drool all over the phone

soulfulspike: HEUEISIANZKSOQOANSNSKW

underyourspell: u ok spike?

soulfulspike: WHAT WAS HE ADVERTISING??? CONDOMS??

dawniekey: men's lingerie

buffytheslayer: he broke his phone

buffytheslayer: he's literally rolling on the floor laughing while skyping angel and angel is literally losing his soul again

buffytheslayer: i swear i am getting a divorce

buffytheslayer: ...it is pretty funny though


End file.
